Something's A Little Off

There is always something a little off at Plan473.  Sure the majority of the oddness comes from the residents, but to be fair, we came by it naturally.  Genetically even.  Today a packaged arrived from my mom. The outside box was addressed to me but I let the Kid open it.  When the inside package was discovered the Kid muttered something along the lines of what a dork, my whole family is crazy.  As it was under his breath and it could not be heard clearly over the radio nor he did not wish to repeat, I will never know for certain what he said.  As he passed the box forward for inspection both the Planner and I laughed.  Laughed as in tears rolling down the face, stomach hurting laughs.  Now the Kid is really thinking that his family is not fully on their rocker.  He could not understand what was so funny.  Unable to explain my mom to him, I just had to enjoy the wrapping paper myself.

My mom was a firm believer in standing out of the crowd.  "Why buy wrapping paper when we can make wrapping paper?", she'd say.  Don't get me wrong there was always store bought wrapping paper she had purchased from a child's school support gimmic.k This paper was extra thick and was only used on nonfamily members. "Non-Family".  Family, and I say family in the loose sense of the meaning, was gifted in DIY craft paper.  And this was WAY before DIY craft paper took hold.  What if the gift was bigger than the recycled paper bag from the grocery store? Use multiple brown paper bags taped together on the inside.  If needed, and used sparsely, was butcher paper.  Buther paper was her favorite as it was white and made for better decorations. Bows and other decorations were saved and used from year to year to year.  Wrapping and tissue paper from other peoples gifts were collected, folded neatly, saved and then used from year to year to year.  I swear there are ribbons and wrappings and cards in the gift box she had been storing since 1972. Waste not, want not.  At some point in my teenage years, I took this oddity to heart and always tried to make the best of what was available.  It required some major outside the box thinking.  Major outside thinking.  In hindsight homemade paper was better than store-bought wrapping paper.

Upon opening the wrapping paper once again the Kid was pondering his family and what a normal family looked and acted like.  As he passed me the gift he said, "there was a ferrying charge".  Ferrying Fees.  Have you heard of them. Love me some ferrying fees.  When the Kid was little I would make his lunch and always charge a ferrying fee.  Sometimes the fee was a bite of his PB&J sandwich, sometimes it was a  bite of his celery/carrot/cucumber stick.  It was never the string cheese or the crackers as they were prepackaged.  If it was made at home, it incurred a ferrying fee.  This ferrying fee held as he went to pre-school, kinder, and even summer camps.  This is still a weekly occurrence.  Lunch is made on the weekend, it is almost guanteed there will be a ferrying fee. It started as a reminder that I loved him during the day when he was gone.  Now I do it because it annoys him.

As I was saying...  When he said ferrying fee I assumed he took a piece of candy.  As he handed me the box of candy he once again he looked at me like I a little off in the brain as he squawked about not eating candy before breakfast.  Upon inspection of the candy box, it all became clear.  No further explanation needed.  Mom had charged us a ferrying fee!  What was even better was ferrying fees was not something my mother did when I young.  This was kwinky dink ferrying fees. Great minds...

Ferrying Fees.  You should start them, it is never too late. In looking through the ten thousand pictures this was the only picture I have of ferrying fees and this is from April 2016.  Gonna have to take a current picture with his current reactions.  Here he still finds it funny.  Now, annoyance.  The Kid may think his family is a little off but as time goes along he will appreciate the oddity of his family.  Hopefully.  If you can't beat them, join them...

Other things that are little off at Plan473 is the weather. Last year it was cold before Halloween and then in the '30s before the year's end.  Now the second week into 2019 and we are wearing shorts and flowers are blooming.  We, as in the Planner, the Kid, and myself.  Not just the Kid or the Planner.  Nor am I only wearing shorts during the middle of the day when it is the warmest.  I am wearing shorts at the mornings' rise.  Last January we had endless days of freezing temperatures and plants living inside the Rainstream.  This year flowers are blooming and trees are starting to bud.  Budding trees are flowers are bad this early in the year as a freeze is still very possible.  Maybe even two freezes as there has not been a hard freeze yet.  If the temperatures continue at this rate, summer will be record-setting and hurricanes are guaranteed.  Ugh. Come on Jack Frost.

Controlling genetics and the weather is impossible.  If something is a little off with the weather and genetics, there is absolutely nothing to be done.  Choosing your friends, however, and their sanity level is totally in control.

 (video recording very quiet, turn up volume for best sound)

Normal (adj) is conforming to a  standard, usual, typical, or expected. Normal varies on a case to case basis.  For most people receiving a card in the mail is normal.  A normal card it would have been had it been a normal Hi, How are you card.  This was anything but a Hi, How are you card. Coming from this particular friend of mine  a card of this fashion it was to be expected.  She is anything but normal and it is the best. Even better than the card from her was the fact that there was a whole marketing team who decided this card was worth putting into production.  Next time they produce a card of this high quality, they should invest in a louder speaker!  To top of the fantastic Holiday card was the delivery date.  Postmarked before Thanksgiving, the card was delivered just yesterday.  Almost two months to go from the post office in town to the local mail center in town less than 1/2 mile away.  Cause nothing is ever normal.

For those who want normalcy, desire normally, and think they have normalcy, I say to you something is a little off with you.  NOTHING is ever normal as there is no standard of normal.  Normal is a normal as you make it.  If everything was normal life would be dull.  Given the choice between normal and something a little off, Plan473 will take something's a little off.  Having something little off makes for a great story!

Happy Year

Holy moly, the new year already.  Can't believe how quickly time flies. Every year people set crazy new years resolutions.  Plan473 has fallen victim to this in the past. Not this year. If 2017 and 2018 have taught Plan473 anything, it has taught us plans are not set in stone, rules are made to be broken, and laughter is the key to happiness.  Plan473 has only one goal for 2019, to be happy.  If what you are doing does not make you happy then why do it?  Sounds simple, right.  Day one into the new year the goal was broken.  Happiness was shattered.

Every new year for the last 11 years has started out the same.  For days before and days after the dog-o paces, the dog-o whines, the dog-o tries to climb in and under any available tight spot to hide from the fireworks. Food is not eaten.  Sleep is not slept.  Calm is not found. But then the change happened.

The dog-o became deaf-o at the end of 2017.  Having a deaf dog is a giant life adjustment.  Because she cannot hear she is constantly on the lookout for our whereabouts.  She becomes anxious when she cannot find us.  To get her attention you have to walk within view of her.  When it is quite outside she can hear the sharp sound of a hand clap.  But it has to be quiet.  Every time you wake her it has the same result: she bolts up and becomes short with breath at the sudden awakening.  There are advantages to having deaf dog-o.  She doesn't hear the neighborhood dogs barking so she doesn't bark.  She doesn't hear the neighborhood cats fighting so she doesn't bark.  She doesn't hear the UPS man arrive so she doesn't bark.  She doesn't hear fireworks or thunder for the most part anymore.  NICE!

This new year was a different story from all the ones before. This year we forgot all together about the fireworks and its effects on the dog-o. While playing dice games to pass the evening, the dog-o wanted outside so outside she went.  All was fine and dandy until we remembered the fireworks.  While she cannot hear the fireworks inside the Rainstream, she can still see the fireworks.  CRAP.  CRAP. CRAP.

The dog-o was gone-o.  Setting off in three different directions, we looked for an hour.  No luck.  The neighbors looked.  No luck. Can't call her name because she can't hear you.  Can't clap for her because it's too loud outside.  Didn't matter, we clapped, we called, we looked.  The dog-o was still gone-o.  CRAP.  CRAP.  CRAP.

Hours later a neighbor called to say they had the scared dog-o.  A "neighbor" as in they live in the same "neighborhood" but have never seen their house nor even knew it existed as it was hidden behind a mile long drive of thick trees and shrubs.  It was well hidden.  How she managed to end up 1.3miles away is beyond us.  Why did she not bark to be let inside?  Why did she not go to one of the adjacent neighbors who were outside? Why did she not go to one of the hundred houses between here and there?  How did she manage to roam down a hidden driveway and find people outside?  How? Why? What?

Doesn't matter really, what matters is she was found.  The mind can run away with all the negative outcomes.  But Plan473 is being positive/happy.  She was home.  She was not happy but she was safe.  And for the next few days, she was not allowed to leave our sight for fear she would run away again.  But this worry was wasted energy as she did not leave outside anyways.  Every time you turned around, there was dog-o between your legs.  Between your legs is safe and sound.  Between you legs is happiness.

For many a new year is exciting. They like the idea of all the new things they are going to accomplish or start or do.  Not me, I like routine.  Just because it is a new year does not mean people need to change their daily routine/lifestyle/modus operandi. The Kid, on the other hand, was loving the new year and has a whole set of resolutions he is excited about. This month his excitement lies in a new change to his routine.  He is going back to public school for the first time in years and his excitement was uncontained. His excitement manifested into badgering. He badgered about needing new shoes as flips flops are not allowed.  He badgered about riding the bus and why he could not ride it the first day or even the second day.  He badgered about having school clothes not play clothes.  He has been badgering since deciding way back in December that school was for him. Badger, badger, badger.  Funny how excitement works.  As the days got closer, his excitement lent to worry, to second-guessing, to nervousness.  By the day before school started, he was beside himself in anxiety.  We talked, we practiced calm breaths, we chilled, and we went to bed early.  Wednesday morning dawned dark and early at 5:30am with an uber excited Kid.  Just look at him.  Happiness.  Knock 'em out Kid with your smartness.  Smartness, not smart-assness.

Happiness. Plan473 is choosing to be happy in 2019.  Sure there are going to be days/weeks that are not filled with happiness. If the dog had not returned, we would remember all the good times and wish her happiness where ever she roamed too.  Had a bad day at work, leave the day behind and start fresh tomorrow.  Being happy is a choice. When life gets tough, smile, and think happy thoughts. Remind yourself, this tough moment is nothing more than a tough moment.  And if extra happy strength is needed, eat goldfish.  Not the plain orange goldfish but the happy, colorful, smiling goldfish.  Now, if there were just blue and purple goldfish it truly would be a rainbow of happiness!