Wednesday, December 28, 2016

The Dog Chompies


Aww, what a sweet dog!  How old is your puppy? If you believed in pictures, then you'd be right.


Honestly, how can anyone resist something with this level of cuteness?


She is loyal to a fault.  Her breed, which is pure-d mutt, must have some kind of pack dog breed mixed in because she follows the Planner around like a monkey on a leash.  He walks, she walks.  He sits, she sits.  She sits even when she doesn't fit.  Like in this picture.  See how she has crammed herself between the wall, the chair, and the shoes.  All just to be underneath the Planner.  What's bad about this habit of hers, is we forget she had wedged herself underneath our feet and when we move them she gets stepped on.  Then, because it out fault she is under our feet, she scowls at us.


She is a great travel companion.  Always wanting to go, never wanting to stay.  She even manages to stay awake while traveling.  For about two or three miles.  Then it's off to sleep.  Nothing like the gentle rocking of road travel to lull one to sleep.


Of course at her age, sleep is often.  In her old age of 11 years, she is turning more into a cat.  There are the early morning naps, mid-morning naps, late morning naps, before and after lunch naps, early afternoons, late afternoons, and the late, late afternoon naps.  Then it is early to bed.  And by early, I mean early.  She eats dinner at 5 o'clock. Not 5:25, not 5:05, but 5:00!  The minute it is late, there is the look.  The one that says, "Why the hell is my food bowl empty people!?!" Oh yes, if she could speak human speak she would most definitely curse. Upon completion, she sluggishly trods off to bed.  All five feet away.  But that five feet, for her old crunchy self, is just too far.  Once in bed, there is the nightly statement by us her humans: " Is the dog dead?"  She looks dead, she lays dead, but alas, she is not dead.  And there is where she stays until too late in the morning when she begrudgingly arises.  Of course, if the house is sleeping late, then she arises at 8:00 demanding food.  Priorities are priorities and she knows her priorities.



Like all children, she is only precious when she sleeps.  It is during her waking hours that turns into a maniac once again.  Argh, this dog!  This dog has been a maniac since day one.  DAY ONE! One minute she is curled up all cute and cuddly on the Planner's chest, the next minute she is running helter skelter through the brush.


 

Just look at those eyes!  I am telling you this dog has an alter ego.  She is Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde.   She is Norman Bates and his mother.


One minute she is just laying there minding her own business looking like the perfect example of a well-behaved dog.


The next minute she hops up to yodel, grr, and r-r-r-rrrr at some passerby two streets over.  See, this dog owns the WHOLE WORLD.  Where ever she is at, she owns what she can see.  These people in the non-threating car are just driving down their street to their home.  But since she can see them, she must bark at them.  Barking, however, is NOT allowed at Plan473.  So since she cannot bark, she grrs, r-r-r-rrrr, and ruffs.  It is just as obnoxious as barking but not as loud.


Once the threat is over she goes back the sweet, loving, devoted family dog. But don't worry, the calm is only before the storm.  The storm that is, of the dog chompies.


The dog chompies are impossible to ignore because she becomes obsessed.  OBSESSED!  I am telling the truth, obsessed.  Once she starts, she can't stop.  She will chew until her skin in red and irritated.  She will chew and until I am red and irritated.  The chompies drive me CRAZY.  The chompies get her put in solitary confinement where she can chomp till her heart is content.

 

And as you might suspect, solitary confinement is seen as punishment by her.  Just look at that look she gives when she is being released.  "Oh me, you want to visit with little ol' me.  Well, if you must,  I will oblige your wishes but I am not happy about it."


Of course, her being a dog and all, means by the time she jumps out of the truck she is once again her happy, manic self.  To celebrate her freedom, she has to do her crazy thing.  All is right with the world once again with this crazy dog.  Goodness, don't we love this dog and all her nerve-wracking dog chompies.